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When I anticipate of anniversary fashion, I anticipate of Sienna Miller and Kate Moss at Glastonbury. Turned bottomward Ugg boots, annular disc belts, best Levi’s shorts, atramentous affection sundresses, Hunter wellies, the casual trilby and a pint of balmy beer/cider in your hand. 2003 is still chic, no? 

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Before I ventured on a 30-hour cruise to Palm Springs for the best Instagrammed music anniversary of the year, I had conjured up an abstraction of what Coachella would be like. I ample it would be like the aloft Glastonbury book but the basal American version, right?

As abundant as I was aflame to acquaintance #coachella (I mean, did you see Beyoncé?!), there was a band of apprehension. Would I fit in? Would I stick out like a abscessed thumb? Was this activity to be like Appearance Week-level apparel but in the calefaction and with added nudity? Do they alike accept plus-size anniversary goers in Indio, California? From what I had apparent it was all bistered blondes in variants of the afterward garms: denim cut-offs, crochet, fringing, suede abate boots, sequins, annual crowns, beam and braids. The key capacity for a basal b*tch amateur pack. But was it that basal in absolute life? 

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For the best part, yes. It is 100% as basal I, and apparently you, absurd – the annual crowns and balance fringing are all REAL. Everyone is beautiful, tanned, bass and weirdly alpine with a huge bulk of bark on appearance (though can you accusation them in that heat?).

Almost every festival-goer is so acutely self-aware, they apperceive absolutely which bend is activity to accomplish the account a column not a story, how to ball to Cardi B as against to Vince Staples, how to do that run/dance/shuffle that makes you attending air-conditioned as you airing through a army abounding of appropriately attractive people, how to attach a affected beam so it looks as admitting you are accepting as acceptable a time as your amusing media is authoritative out, how to accomplish bodies ambition they were in the arid with you.

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The adjustment of priorities is agreeable first, music additional and as I absolved over to the acclaimed Coachella ferris wheel, it was like entering basal Instagram universe. A abode so abounding of accord signs, amplitude buns and able cameras – yes, really. It was both alluring and cringeworthy in absolutely according measure. 

The best hasty allotment of the festival, however, wasn’t the plus-size women in thongs and fishnet bodies (I accept never acquainted added bourgeois in my life) but the faculty of aplomb that you aloof wouldn’t acquisition anywhere abroad in the world. There was a activity that no one cared what the abutting being anticipation of them, they were there to alive their best activity (get the content) and bow bottomward to Beyoncé. Mic drop, they out.

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The added ample women I saw in ass-skimming shorts the added I realised I was absolutely over-thinking the accomplished ‘can I be plus-size at Coachella?’ idea. Of advance I could! There I was affirmation as to whether I could abrasion atramentous in the desert, if gold hoops were too boring, to beam or not to glitter, and absolutely none of it mattered because whatever you wore no one batted an eyelid. Their primary affair was themselves, their look, their agreeable and anyone alfresco their accumulation of accompany – not interested. To an admeasurement alike the men weren’t interested. 

Then came the music and it was the extreme affair from basic, it is bigger and bigger than any added anniversary I accept anytime been to. Almost every act brings out a guest, Pultizer-prize acceptable Kendrick Lamar was the bedfellow of best for abounding and in case you accept been active an internet-free life, Bear Grylls-style, Destiny’s Child adapted and it was everything. Beyoncé gave her best female-empowering achievement to date, applicable for the aboriginal atramentous changeable amateur at the festival. Eminem fabricated you re-live every boyhood all-overs affect you accept had bound up for the accomplished 10 years and again dead it back he brought 50 Cent and Dr Dre out – never accept I apparent a army lose it harder. 

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In short, yes Coachella is basic, but if you attending above the glitter, the sequins and the shorter-than-short shorts, it’s absolutely appealing abuse cool. You leave with a afflicted attitude, or at atomic I did: anniversary appearance isn’t article to be feared – you are there to accept a acceptable time, accept to your favourite acts and go home blessed that your life-long dream of singing Say My Name with Beyoncé, Kelly and Michelle has been achieved. Because really, does annihilation abroad matter? 

Images: Getty / Rex Features 

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